my father

When I was a child, I would often be told that I'm a papa's girl. During that time, I wouldn't know what to feel, is it nice to be called as such or is it annoying on my part? I already know that I am a separate individual, separate from them. I know that I am building my own character. I said to myself, I will not be influenced by their attitudes. Was I bad? Well, no one can really know, unless you are in my shoes.

Everything went on smoothly with my father, we had our ups and downs, but we still manage to get on with our relationship as father and daughter. I know I can't change him now, he has been like that since time immemorial. My feelings towards my papa change when he got hospitalized for the 3rd or 4th time (i wasn't really sure), last April 25, 2007. Wednesday night, we have to bring papa to the nearest hospital because he's feces were blood, all blood. It was one of the most horrible sight for me, seeing a lot of blood. My father turned pale already. I have to tell you this, my father is afraid to die. During that time, I've never seen my father so afraid. It was hard not to feel the same way too. I realized how important my father is in our lives as a family. Though, he may not be the best father in the world, but I love him. I love my father so much. I pray to God that He will extend my father's life. But if God can't, may our family learn to accept God's will.

Father's day will come, I know I have to give my father a gift for something he did.. and that is by being a father to us.. I love my father, inspite of and despite of..

Take care.

God bless you, all!!